Eulogy by Mark Naughton
On 1st November 1941 Harold and Charlotte Anson became the proud parents of a baby girl – my mum Joan Patricia Anson.
Mum was born in Liverpool, at a time when Britain was at war and Liverpool was the target of enemy aircraft and a dangerous place to live. Mum’s house was unusual, it could be described as a semi-detached house, but this was no ordinary semi. The house that should have stood next door was destroyed by a German bomb – if that bomb had dropped a few feet short of where it fell, I may not be here today to tell the story you are about to hear!
Like many, my mums father signed up to serve his country and joined the RAF where he would serve until after war was over. For mum this meant she didn’t really know her father until after the war and spent her early childhood being brought up by her mum and nana.
Mum spoke of fond childhood memories growing up in Liverpool, she talked of visiting relatives in grand houses, one was the Lord Mayor of Liverpool, and the other was the Pier Master of Liverpool whose grand house stood within the Liverpool Dock estate and today this house is part of The Liverpool Museum and open to visitors. We visited the house with mum just a couple of years ago, the décor of the house was just as mum remembered it would have been back in the 1940’s and listening to mum talk of playing in the back yard with the sight of large ocean-going ships in the background was awe inspiring.
Whilst growing up in Liverpool there would be two additions to the family, that of a brother John and a sister Sheila. Mum told us the sad story of John passing away in his sleep as an infant and she often wondered if this was the reason her father continued to serve in the military for a time after the war was over, maybe coming home to a house with an empty cot was just too painful.
When mum was around 7 years old her father left the air force and the following year the family moved to Barnton so her father could take up a new job as a chef at Vale Royal Abbey before moving on to ICI in Winnington where he worked for many years. Whilst living at Barnton the family grew again when mum’s brother Harold was born. Mum’s time in Barnton was short as her mum (my nana) didn’t like living there, in nana’s words “the family next door was common”. I remember my nana as a proud lady and speaking with my auntie Carol she said that nana hated living in the house as there was a shared pathway with the common family!
To escape the commoners of Barnton the family moved to Weaverham and a much nicer semi-detached house overlooking a small meadow and whilst living here mums’ siblings Frank and Carol were born. The next-door neighbours in their new Weaverham home were the Carol family and mum would meet her lifelong friend Mary Carol. Mum and Mary would go to school together and outside of school they would play together often in the meadow at the front of the house, as they grew older, they would play further afield from home. Mum always spoke so fondly of Mary and would reminisce of them going for rides on their bikes, playing in the woods and swimming in the River Weaver next to the sandbank or as they called it the beach – what a time to be alive!
Growing up in the 1940’s and 50’s was very different to growing up today, rationing from the war would continue until 1954 and music was changing from the slow songs of the 40’s by artists like Glenn Miller and Frankie Laine to Rock n Roll! Mum loved music and her all time favourite by far was the King of Rock n Roll Elvis Presley! Mum loved Elvis’ music and loved his look and style too. Towards the end of the 50’s another music talent would become another firm favourite with mum – Cliff Richard, mum liked his music but she loved his look more, something my dad was all too aware of and would try to emulate!
Mum left school at 15 and briefly worked at the sowing factory which stood on the site of where the Co-op store in Weaverham stands today. Mum didn’t like working at the factory and quickly found a job along with her friends Mary and Maureen at Broadhurst, a local biscuit factory which stood on the site where Gadbrook Park stands today. Broadhurst was a large employer in the area and from speaking with my Aunties Betty and Margaret they both commented it was a wonderful place to work. I asked my auntie Betty whether she remembered my mum working there and she replied, “I remember 174 JP Anson very well”. Betty worked in payroll and to this day can fondly recall many of her co-workers by their payroll number including that of mum’s friend 11 M Carol!
When mum was around 17 years old, she dreamed of a life in the glamourous world of fashion and decided to have some professional studio photos taken by local photographer Lawrence Sands. I remember some years ago mum showing us one picture she was very proud of where she stood tall next to an ornate column, she would joke saying “this photo was taken in her modelling days”. Recently whilst researching mum’s life for this eulogy I came across the remaining photographs from this set and one must wonder why mum didn’t pursue that career in modelling – she looked amazing!
I recently joked with my dad saying that when he met mum he was punching well above his weight!
After working a few years at Broadhurst, mum along with her friend Mary decided to leave and went to work at Ilford Film in Mobberley. I can only assume the pay was much higher because mum and Mary cycled daily from Weaverham to Mobberley for work! The geography of Northwich roads in the 1950’s would have meant the journey to Mobberley and back would have taken mum and Mary past Pimblott’s Shipyard where my dad worked as a boilermaker. One day in 1959 mum along with her friend Mary would have been cycling home from work and took a brief rest break on Sexton’s Lane near to Pimblott’s, my dad along with his friend Steve Burrows were walking home to Greenbank Lane after a couple of after work drinks, when for reasons only known to Steve, he would start to mess with mums’ bike, kicking the wheels. Mum got upset by this and when Steve continued my dad intervened and came to mum’s rescue. Steve continued his journey home alone and with one more black eye than when he started, and my dad walked mum and Mary home to Weaverham where mum’s dad would be waiting outside the house as she was home late!
Mum and dad became a couple and started dating and a couple of years later on 2nd September 1961 mum and dad were married at St Wilfred’s Church in Northwich, mum’s bridesmaid was my auntie Margaret and dad’s best man was his friend Mike Carlon. As was tradition, a hen and stag night were held before the wedding and it was at mum’s hen night where her bridesmaid - my auntie Margaret would meet her future husband George, so if it wasn’t for Steve Burrows I wouldn’t be standing here before you to tell this story and a good number of you listening wouldn’t be here to hear this story either!
The following year after mum and dad were married Michael was born and together, they all lived at 4 Greenbank Lane along with dad’s parents and his sisters Betty and Margaret! It was a bit cramped at number 4 so after a few months mum, dad and Michael moved to their own home in Rudheath where in 1964 Karl was born. Shortly after Karl was born the family moved to Farm Road in Weaverham and in 1969 mum and dad decided they would try one more time to add a daughter to their family and in May 1970 their last hope for a daughter was dashed which is where I come into this story!
My childhood is one filled with happy memories, every Sunday after church we would come home to a Sunday lunch mum had prepared, the vegetables, the roast potatoes, the Yorkshire pudding, the home-made gravy were all perfect except for one thing, mum would always try and sneak a sprout or two onto my plate. I’ve never liked sprouts and can’t understand why anyone does but mum thought I needed the iron and she would try and sneak the sprouts on to my plate – by hiding them in the mashed potato or adding them to the gravy, but my taste buds were sensitive and almost always detected them, however I know on the occasions where I didn’t find them that meant mum had won and somehow she’d got me to eat sprouts!
Our house was a busy one, with three brothers who always wanted to watch something different on TV or would fight for the spot nearest to the fire, as this was the 1970’s and central heating and double-glazed windows wouldn’t be a thing for another 10 years. As the youngest of three by some years I would often come off worst when it came to getting my own way so with mum in the kitchen, I could often be heard shouting “tell Michael to let me sit by the fire” or “Karl has turned the TV over again”. Mum would initially ignore the three of us misbehaving but eventually we would push her patience to the limit and mum would run in to the living room and all three of us would get a clip round the ear and told to behave!
Living next door to us in Farm Road was the Jones family, Mr and Mrs Jones were wonderful neighbours and very fond of mum, dad, me and my brothers. They, along with their children Susan and David were great friends to mum and Mr and Mrs Jones treated my brothers and I more like grandchildren then next-door neighbours.
Growing up I have fond memories of mum’s friends coming around to our house, Mary, Pat, Maureen, Phyllis, Jean plus many more along with their families would visit. When we met it was always fun with mum, dad and their friends socialising in the house whilst the kids would all play together in the back garden!
Family holidays were always a happy time, popular holiday destinations of the 1970’s were Towyn and Rhyl in North Wales or Blackpool in Lancashire, mum would tell us many years later how she hated the arcades and fun fairs of these coastal resorts but put on a brave face for us, what mum really wanted to do was travel to far away destinations – something she would do often later in her life.
After taking some brief time out from work to raise the family, mum took on a couple of part-time jobs during the school day. Mum worked part-time as a housekeeper at Samuels Farm in Weaverham and as a retail assistant at Marks & Spencer in Northwich. After a couple of years mum decided to leave Samuels Farm and took on more hours at Marks & Spencer working almost full-time. Mum loved working in the clothing department at M&S and was lucky to get to work with her sister Sheila for many years. Mum and aunty Sheila both worked as supervisors at the store and were held in high regard by their managers, peers and those that worked for them, and I should know because I was lucky enough to work with both of them at the store for almost 5 years whilst studying at university. Sadly in 1999 Sheila passed away and the following year Mum left Marks & Spencer. Years later mum told me that she couldn’t continue to work in the store without Sheila with her.
Mum was very proud to work for M&S and her proudest moment was getting her 25 years’ service award where mum along with my dad were put up in the London Savoy Hotel, treated to a west end theatre show (TIME with Cliff Richard) and mum was presented with her beloved Longines watch at a lavish presentation dinner by the CEO of the company.
As mentioned previously, mum longed to travel and when I was just starting high school international air travel was starting to become affordable. By now Michael and Karl had both left school and were working so holidaying with their parents was not cool, but for the 11-year-old me it was very cool to go abroad on holiday. Holidays to Spain and Greece became the norm for me, mum and dad, mum loved exploring the cultures of other countries, trying different foods, and seeing the different fashions. When I turned 18 and started university going on holiday with mum and dad wasn’t considered cool any longer so now it was just mum and dad holidaying together. They started to go on long haul holiday destinations where they visited America, China, North Africa, Indonesia and Thailand to name a few. Of these holidays mum loved China, Indonesia and Thailand the most, she loved the culture, the food and she loved the people.
When she wasn’t jetting around the world, mum had other hobbies to fill her spare time of which reading and gardening were her passion. Mum loved her bungalow and garden, mum would spend hour after hour in the summer months tending to her garden which she was very proud of and anyone coming into the house with their shoes on would be politely asked to take them off before they entered – mum was the Mrs Bucket of Weaverham!
As the years pass, Michael, Karl and I would leave home and start our own families. Mum loved being a nana to her grandchildren Chloe, Charlotte, Sophie, Emily, Matthew and Adam. Mum loved seeing her grandchildren grow and she loved to spend time with all of them. Family gatherings were special to mum, she loved any excuse to have everyone around and loved the parties we would have at birthdays and Christmas.
With the grandchildren on the scene, family holidays would be a thing once again and mum loved going to Spain when any of us were there with her grandchildren. Mum’s favourite holiday resort was Torremolinos, she loved the family friendly atmosphere and enjoyed many happy times here, year after year we would be welcomed back by the hotel staff and bar owners who we had come to know well and considered to be our friends, for me these will always be the holidays I enjoyed the most.
My reflections on mum’s illness
Last year mum became ill, and in May we were told the devastating news that mum had a brain tumour. Mum always said that if she got ill, she didn’t want to know anything about the prognosis, and this is something we respected. Mum never knew how ill she was, but she was aware her condition was serious and accepted this with strength, dignity and courage. It quickly became clear that mum would need care 24 hours a day. I was fortunate to have a job with the option of working from home, so from May onwards I worked each day from mum’s bungalow allowing me to care for her every day of the week and settle her to sleep each night. My brothers Karl and Michael would take over at teatime and help mum over the weekend too with Michael doing Sunday where mum always looked forward to the Sunday lunch Michael and Barbara would prepare. Karl and I would spend each Saturday with mum where we would take her out for lunch and shopping trips. As mum started to lose her mobility Karl suggested we should take mum one final time to visit her hometown of Liverpool which we did with Karl taking mum and dad in his car and me, Jill and Matthew following behind in my car. Mum loved seeing the city again and walking past her uncle - the pier master’s house. Mum decided to buy a painting of the city skyline from one of the art shops on the Albert Dock which she proudly displayed on the living room wall. For Karl and I the trip was made even more memorable when we both picked up a speeding ticket on the journey home and had to complete a speed awareness course!
As mum’s care needs became greater care was provided 4 times a day from the wonderful and caring staff at Care Select, some of whom are here today. It quickly became apparent that 4 daily visits were not enough, therefore I took on the additional responsibility of helping mum with her personal care, something I couldn’t have done without guidance from the staff at Care Select and the help of Jill who was with me day and night as we learnt what to do every step of the way. Also, my brother Karl was on hand to assist me on the bedtimes I was there on my own if mum needed additional care.
Our son Matthew goes everywhere Jill and I go, and he was there to help comfort his nana each day we visited throughout her illness. Every night he would hug and kiss his nana goodnight, something which gave her great comfort.
My auntie Carol took early retirement from work so she could spend as much time with her sister as she was able to, she would join me 5 days a week to help with mum’s personal care and she would talk to mum and keep her company throughout the day whilst I was working. Without Carol’s help and emotional support, we couldn’t have cared for mum at home for as long as we did, for this we are forever grateful.
Also, I want to thank mum, she made caring for her so very easy, she always appreciated the help me and my brothers Karl and Michael, our respective partners and my auntie Carol gave her, she was very patient with us whilst we learnt how to care for her, and her humour during what was a very difficult and emotional time gave us all strength.
As mum’s illness progressed, she would often verbalise her thoughts and we heard mum pray every day which was beautiful to hear. Mum never prayed to get better, she prayed for the simple things and thanked God for the food she would have – especially the cake, for the family who cared for her and for the trips out of the house which she valued so much!
Mum believed in God, she had a quiet faith, however she has always believed in eternal life after death and in this we take great comfort.
Throughout mum’s illness she was fortunate to be pain free, she didn’t even take a paracetamol which in my mind is a miracle. The only one exception where mum had some brief pain was in the last week of her life and this was quickly addressed by the wonderful nurses and staff of Deewater Grange Nursing Home who cared for mum only for a short time but did so with dignity and compassion.
Mum passed peacefully in her sleep with me by her side where I kissed her goodnight one final time. She will be greatly missed by all those who loved her but will live on through the happy memories we have of her.
Love you always mum
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